If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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