Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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