she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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