can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
