I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
