I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
