Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
