She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
