bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
