i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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