Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
