If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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