john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
