theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
