Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
