white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
