A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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