I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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