Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
