i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
