WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ttyl tear gas
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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