A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Alive.
So much puke
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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