Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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