What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
