pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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