Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
