dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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