what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
