I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
