i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
