I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
