What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
