I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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