and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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