shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
