my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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