Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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