NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
