we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
