wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
