are you so shy because you have an std?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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