I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
