can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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