For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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