We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
is it fun? or sober?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
