butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
