Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
