I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
