i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
