Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
