none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
